Do you know what I like? Fat Acceptance. I feel like the only way I'm ever going to be comfortable in my own skin is to accept the body I have right now at this very minute. This is a daunting task. So many years of messages from media, family, and friends, and they all can be reduced to this simple motto: "skinny is pretty, fat is ugly." Fuck all that. I am doing things to make my body feel physically stronger and healthier, because it's something I want for myself, but I have no interest in dieting. That whole cycle is an epic waste of time and a collossal source of heartache. Once I am able to lose my anxiety around food, feel in control of my consumption, and stop bingeing, my weight will stabilize where my body wants it to be - lighter than I am now, heavier than I am now, who can say? Whatever it is, I will need to work on accepting it. It's not easy. It's a challenge to love what you've been conditioned your entire life to hate - a fat body.
I used to read all these blogs where people would post their daily oatmeal breakfasts and every morsel of food they'd consumed all day and every bit of marathon training or Bikram Yoga they'd done (not that there's anything wrong with that, just not appealing to me). I realized that I just don't have any interest in a lifestyle that's that extreme. Slowly, I have moved over to reading FA blogs, and WOW, they make me feel like I'm normal, as opposed to lazy and self-indulgent, as some other "healthy living" blogs often do.
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